Field notes for a hotter marriage.
Research-grounded, refreshingly direct essays on desire in long-term relationships — with the creators who show what articles can't.
Are Our Phones Ruining Our Relationship? The Phubbing Research — and Why Attention Is Foreplay
Researchers gave it a name — phubbing — and the data on it is not subtle. Ali on what phone-snubbing actually does to a couple, and the small, unglamorous fix that treats attention as the currency it really is.
Desire · AnticipationDoes Scheduling Sex Actually Work? The Empty Appointment vs. the Engineered Gap
Everyone hears "schedule it" and pictures a joyless calendar reminder. Mari on why the scheduling isn't the problem — the empty gap before it is — and what you put in that gap that changes everything.
New territory · The graceful noWhat If She Says No to the Thing You Really Want?
You finally asked, and she said no. Luna on the graceful no: why a no to the ask is not a verdict on you, how to receive it so the door stays on its hinges, and when to re-seed later versus let it go for good.
The body · DiagnosticsMy Morning Wood Disappeared: Reading Your Body's Built-In Diagnostic
Those overnight erections aren't random — they're a diagnostic your body runs for free while you sleep. Ali on what a sudden, persistent absence actually signals, and the line where it becomes a doctor visit.
Desire · Reality checkIs a Sexless Marriage Normal? The Question Isn't How Often — It's Which Way You're Heading
Somewhere between fifteen and twenty percent of married couples have sex a few times a year or less. Mari on why the frequency number tells you almost nothing — and the two things that actually separate a fine marriage from a marriage in trouble.
The Fetish Disclosure Playbook: Any Fetish, One Method
Feet, restraint, a specific scenario you've never said out loud — the content changes, the method doesn't. Luna's generalized runway for disclosing any fetish: a third-party probe, an honest read, and a landing small enough that a yes is real and a no costs you nothing.
Why Is Sex Always the Same in a Long Marriage? The Script Nobody Chose
Same night, same order, same ending. Not because you're broken or bored with each other — because your brain optimized a working script until every surprise was gone. Mari on habituation, and the one-variable fix.